Turning off the "Mommy"

I've spent a lot of time lately bonding with my SIL in ways, that 3 years ago I would have never imagined possible and now that we are both expecting within two weeks of each other, I think our bond has strengthened even more!  Lately, we've been discussing decompressing, anxiety and just wanting to turn off the "mommy"!

We've shared a lot of stories about our hormones and emotions and how sometimes we just feel so grumpy etc. Though I'm pretty sure she's fibbing a bit, she seems to be handling her "crazy" much better than I am. If you've been following my blog at all, you can see I'm pretty open about my "crazy" and not so shy with who gets to see it!

On July 4th, we left our home in Vancouver, just Ava and I.  We have been staying with my parents for the last 5 weeks and while I appreciate everything they do for us, it's very clear that Miss Ava is definitely starting to REALLY miss her Daddy and I don't blame her cause I miss her Daddy too! Not just because he's an amazing father who has the most incredible way with her, but he's my best friend and he does so much for our family! This mommy needs a hug!

There is this moment that I have after Ava and I have spent just a little too much time together. When when you start hearing the word "Mommy" and just the tone in which it's said makes you want to scream, cry, and run away all at the same time. I don't know if it's a girl thing but my goodness "Mommy, I can't find my hairbrush" just makes me cringe. The inner me wants to scream," RUN AVA RUN!"

 

It's that moment, when you look in the mirror and all you see is "Mommy."  You need sometime to decompress and find yourself again! When you haven't had a grown up conversation or even a moment of silence in who knows how long. Suddenly you realize it's been a week since you washed your hair and you begin to wonder why you got out of bed today.  Yes this is me lately and I think this is a lot of mommies out there.

Unfortunately, I don't think we have quite yet built up enough of a support system within our mommies to be able to show our "crazy" when you need too, to feel defeated and to cry without feeling weak.  I've said for a long time, that these little beings are like mind ninja's they get in there  and then all of a sudden, you are a mess and you're screaming at the girl in the Tim Horton's Drive- Thru.

The other night, Ava went from this sweet little girl to the "I don't want to" monster! It wasn't pretty! Trying to explain to her that "I don't want to" isn't a valid excuse and that thing we do EVERY single night called brush our teeth.. isn't a surprise and to "get your butt in the bathroom and brush your teeth" ....

"I don't want to!"

It went from bad to just plain old ugly really quickly. Dad had to be called and then I see this sweet little girl returning..... Wait for it.... nope just kidding the monster is still here! Then I'm in tears crying! Yes, I'm aware that children are kind of like bears! They smell fear and even worse...they prey on it and I just threw a big ol' steak to the angry bear!

That's it....I've spent too much time in mommy land lately. My sister-in-law has spent too much time in mommy land lately!  I'm sure HALF the mommies reading this have spent too much time in Mommy land.  We have this need to be a perfect mommy raising perfect children and if we do chose to go back, a lot of us becoming obsessed with being the perfect employee.  You can't do it all, unless you ask for help! So take a deep breathe, realize that what you're doing is developing the future and that is a big deal! The only person expecting you to truly be perfect is you! It is ok to not finish everything or to not want to hear the word "Mommy" any more for the day. 

Being a mommy is a HARD job and it's ok to ask someone else to give you a break, whether it's your children's father, your boyfriend, you brother, your uncle, your best friend! In order to be a good mommy...you have be a good person which means being good to yourself! It is ok to turn off the "mommy" and no it doesn't make you a bad mommy! It makes you human!

A Follow up to the Gender Reveal

As many of you know, on Friday July 4th, Miss Ava and myself set out on the open road travelling to Saskatoon to spend some time with my family. We loaded up the car and set out for a two day excursion of over 1500km's from Vancouver to Saskatoon to officially begin our summer vacation. I had an entire blog prepared about travelling while pregnant with a 5 year old and a ton of anxiety but something malfunctioned and well I ended with one picture.  So that will have to wait till the next blog post. This blog will be a follow up to the Gender reveal post below.

In case you missed it, you can scroll down and see that we announced the sex of Baby Shearer No.2, our family is elated with joy.  Bruce was quite happy to be welcoming another little girl and Miss Ava just cannot stop talking about her little sister.

It was a tough one for me though, as I was really hoping it was a boy, healthy with all limbs attached but nonetheless still hoping for a boy. We aren't planning on having more than 2 so this was kind of my final chance to experience that bond that a mother and son have.

It's ok though, I've done a lot of soul searching about genders, siblings, and parental relationships.  Growing up, I really wanted to experience having a sister but I was blessed with older brothers.  What I learned from having two brothers molded me into the type of woman I became in  my business and personal relationships.  My female relationships have always lacked a certain amount of strength, could having brothers be the reason I have always connected with the male gender than the female gender?

There is an old Irish saying that I remember hearing once upon a time "A son is a son till he takes him a wife. A daughter is a daughter for the rest of her life!" It's always stuck with me, perhaps having 2 girls is making up for not having a sister growing up?

Either way, I feel blessed, I know very much that we don't always get what we want, but we will always get just exactly what we need and knowing that Ava will soon have her best friend forever, her shoulder to cry on and partner in crime makes my heart smile in a way I just can't describe!