Turning off the "Mommy"

I've spent a lot of time lately bonding with my SIL in ways, that 3 years ago I would have never imagined possible and now that we are both expecting within two weeks of each other, I think our bond has strengthened even more!  Lately, we've been discussing decompressing, anxiety and just wanting to turn off the "mommy"!

We've shared a lot of stories about our hormones and emotions and how sometimes we just feel so grumpy etc. Though I'm pretty sure she's fibbing a bit, she seems to be handling her "crazy" much better than I am. If you've been following my blog at all, you can see I'm pretty open about my "crazy" and not so shy with who gets to see it!

On July 4th, we left our home in Vancouver, just Ava and I.  We have been staying with my parents for the last 5 weeks and while I appreciate everything they do for us, it's very clear that Miss Ava is definitely starting to REALLY miss her Daddy and I don't blame her cause I miss her Daddy too! Not just because he's an amazing father who has the most incredible way with her, but he's my best friend and he does so much for our family! This mommy needs a hug!

There is this moment that I have after Ava and I have spent just a little too much time together. When when you start hearing the word "Mommy" and just the tone in which it's said makes you want to scream, cry, and run away all at the same time. I don't know if it's a girl thing but my goodness "Mommy, I can't find my hairbrush" just makes me cringe. The inner me wants to scream," RUN AVA RUN!"

 

It's that moment, when you look in the mirror and all you see is "Mommy."  You need sometime to decompress and find yourself again! When you haven't had a grown up conversation or even a moment of silence in who knows how long. Suddenly you realize it's been a week since you washed your hair and you begin to wonder why you got out of bed today.  Yes this is me lately and I think this is a lot of mommies out there.

Unfortunately, I don't think we have quite yet built up enough of a support system within our mommies to be able to show our "crazy" when you need too, to feel defeated and to cry without feeling weak.  I've said for a long time, that these little beings are like mind ninja's they get in there  and then all of a sudden, you are a mess and you're screaming at the girl in the Tim Horton's Drive- Thru.

The other night, Ava went from this sweet little girl to the "I don't want to" monster! It wasn't pretty! Trying to explain to her that "I don't want to" isn't a valid excuse and that thing we do EVERY single night called brush our teeth.. isn't a surprise and to "get your butt in the bathroom and brush your teeth" ....

"I don't want to!"

It went from bad to just plain old ugly really quickly. Dad had to be called and then I see this sweet little girl returning..... Wait for it.... nope just kidding the monster is still here! Then I'm in tears crying! Yes, I'm aware that children are kind of like bears! They smell fear and even worse...they prey on it and I just threw a big ol' steak to the angry bear!

That's it....I've spent too much time in mommy land lately. My sister-in-law has spent too much time in mommy land lately!  I'm sure HALF the mommies reading this have spent too much time in Mommy land.  We have this need to be a perfect mommy raising perfect children and if we do chose to go back, a lot of us becoming obsessed with being the perfect employee.  You can't do it all, unless you ask for help! So take a deep breathe, realize that what you're doing is developing the future and that is a big deal! The only person expecting you to truly be perfect is you! It is ok to not finish everything or to not want to hear the word "Mommy" any more for the day. 

Being a mommy is a HARD job and it's ok to ask someone else to give you a break, whether it's your children's father, your boyfriend, you brother, your uncle, your best friend! In order to be a good mommy...you have be a good person which means being good to yourself! It is ok to turn off the "mommy" and no it doesn't make you a bad mommy! It makes you human!

Good-Bye DayCare..Hello Kindergarten!

Today marks a momentous day for Miss Ava. Today, we say Good-Bye to daycare. While this adventure is ending, another is about to start...Kindergarten

I'm so proud of the little girl she has become because of the amazing care the ladies at this daycare have given to her day after day for almost 2 years. They have kissed her boo-boo's when I couldn't be there, they've held her when she was sad, and made her laugh. They've helped her become this amazing little girl who will be the most kind and caring big sister.

I started reflecting on her time with Children's World Daycare and how influential they have been in our family. I really wanted to say thank you for taking such wonderful care of our daughter, teaching her so many wonderful things and just being these selfless human beings that have one of the hardest most rewarding jobs and don't get acknowledged or thanked nearly enough! I wanted to say thank you for helping her grow!

I got onto Google to look up different ideas on how to truly say thank you andI stumbled across this idea of a flower pot that says, "Thank you for helping me Grow!" with flowers planted inside.  Well we all know that flowers die, so I wanted to put something in the pot that would never go away just as the gratitude we feel will never go away.

I started to create these flowers out of hearts that I cut out using construction paper and had Ava sit down with me and reflect on her time at Children's World.  I asked her several questions to get her thinking.


Her thinking face!

 Together we created a list of answers she had, to questions I asked;

•  "What will you miss most?"
•  "What are you most thankful for?"
•  "What do you love about them most?"
• " What do you think you are better at because of them?"

It was an amazing experience to sit and listen to her talk about others in such a kind way and to hear her talk about the things she thinks she is good at because they've helped her.  I stared at this litter girl and I fell in love even more! I've been falling in love with her as a baby for the last 5 years.  She's done many things in the year or so to show me that she is not a baby anymore but doing this project with her just made me begin to fall in love with her as a child.. my little girl isn't a baby anymore!

 

In doing on all of this, I realized, this is the first big moment in her life where one thing will completely end and another will begin. I think this time is so crucial in her development in teaching her about good things coming to an end, being ok with moving on and allowing her to own her emotions and express them in appropriate ways when she needs to.

So many times as an adult, I know I will get overwhelmed, sad or mad and not display my emotions correctly.  We get agitated or quick to snap and we take things out on people that don't deserve it. I want to be sure to take this time to really connect with her and teach her about emotions and feelings and what is appropriate and what is not appropriate. 

I'm going to be writing down some of her reactions to discuss later on in hopes to maybe help another mom or even someone else struggling with emotions, which I can admit, I have many times. In the meantime, please comment below if you have any tips or suggestions on how to help cope with what might be some hidden signs that she is having a hard time.

Thank you Children's World Daycare one final time from the bottom of our hearts and Congratulations Miss Ava, Kindergarten welcomes you, though I'm not sure I'm ready for that just yet! Thank goodness I have a summer to wrap my head around it!