Turning off the "Mommy"

I've spent a lot of time lately bonding with my SIL in ways, that 3 years ago I would have never imagined possible and now that we are both expecting within two weeks of each other, I think our bond has strengthened even more!  Lately, we've been discussing decompressing, anxiety and just wanting to turn off the "mommy"!

We've shared a lot of stories about our hormones and emotions and how sometimes we just feel so grumpy etc. Though I'm pretty sure she's fibbing a bit, she seems to be handling her "crazy" much better than I am. If you've been following my blog at all, you can see I'm pretty open about my "crazy" and not so shy with who gets to see it!

On July 4th, we left our home in Vancouver, just Ava and I.  We have been staying with my parents for the last 5 weeks and while I appreciate everything they do for us, it's very clear that Miss Ava is definitely starting to REALLY miss her Daddy and I don't blame her cause I miss her Daddy too! Not just because he's an amazing father who has the most incredible way with her, but he's my best friend and he does so much for our family! This mommy needs a hug!

There is this moment that I have after Ava and I have spent just a little too much time together. When when you start hearing the word "Mommy" and just the tone in which it's said makes you want to scream, cry, and run away all at the same time. I don't know if it's a girl thing but my goodness "Mommy, I can't find my hairbrush" just makes me cringe. The inner me wants to scream," RUN AVA RUN!"

 

It's that moment, when you look in the mirror and all you see is "Mommy."  You need sometime to decompress and find yourself again! When you haven't had a grown up conversation or even a moment of silence in who knows how long. Suddenly you realize it's been a week since you washed your hair and you begin to wonder why you got out of bed today.  Yes this is me lately and I think this is a lot of mommies out there.

Unfortunately, I don't think we have quite yet built up enough of a support system within our mommies to be able to show our "crazy" when you need too, to feel defeated and to cry without feeling weak.  I've said for a long time, that these little beings are like mind ninja's they get in there  and then all of a sudden, you are a mess and you're screaming at the girl in the Tim Horton's Drive- Thru.

The other night, Ava went from this sweet little girl to the "I don't want to" monster! It wasn't pretty! Trying to explain to her that "I don't want to" isn't a valid excuse and that thing we do EVERY single night called brush our teeth.. isn't a surprise and to "get your butt in the bathroom and brush your teeth" ....

"I don't want to!"

It went from bad to just plain old ugly really quickly. Dad had to be called and then I see this sweet little girl returning..... Wait for it.... nope just kidding the monster is still here! Then I'm in tears crying! Yes, I'm aware that children are kind of like bears! They smell fear and even worse...they prey on it and I just threw a big ol' steak to the angry bear!

That's it....I've spent too much time in mommy land lately. My sister-in-law has spent too much time in mommy land lately!  I'm sure HALF the mommies reading this have spent too much time in Mommy land.  We have this need to be a perfect mommy raising perfect children and if we do chose to go back, a lot of us becoming obsessed with being the perfect employee.  You can't do it all, unless you ask for help! So take a deep breathe, realize that what you're doing is developing the future and that is a big deal! The only person expecting you to truly be perfect is you! It is ok to not finish everything or to not want to hear the word "Mommy" any more for the day. 

Being a mommy is a HARD job and it's ok to ask someone else to give you a break, whether it's your children's father, your boyfriend, you brother, your uncle, your best friend! In order to be a good mommy...you have be a good person which means being good to yourself! It is ok to turn off the "mommy" and no it doesn't make you a bad mommy! It makes you human!

Meet the Shearer's

Welcome to my Blog, I realized, I haven't formally introduced myself and my family, the Shearer's! We are a small family of 3, soon to be 4 and this is my blog.

 I've spent the last say 3 years dedicated to my "career" in retail management. Within the last year, I ended up taking on another company while working as a full time manager working roughly 110 - 120 hours every two weeks, this on top of being a wife and a mother! I thought this was it.. my career! The place I was going to be spending the rest of my life working on. Long story short..it wasn't and I am now back at the drawing board.

I started this blog, as a way to get back into the things that I remember I was once passion about starting with writing. I will be writing about crafts although, I've never thought of myself as very good or very creative in this area, cooking/baking; which I absolutely ADORE, my new adventure to find my "career" and of course, our life with Ava and the new baby on the way!

Let me start by introducing the head of the household and the current center of the universe.. miss Ava Blaire!

Ava was born January 31, 2009, after a 10 month pregnancy that was classified as high risk. Miss Ava held out until her due date and like the true Rock Star that she is, showed up fashionably late by one day! Ava has always been a very independent, strong willed and funny little girl!  In one conversation, she can drive you crazy and melt your heart with sweetness. I could speak for hours on this girl but trust me throughout this blog, you will get to see the many faces of my favorite little Rock Star, Miss Ava Blaire Shearer.

Then the man himself Bruce aka ELdjLOCO; my husband, my best friend..my well everything! I met Bruce several years ago while working in a nightclub, I was the Door Girl, he was the DJ. That is my husband, a hard working successful DJ in Vancouver, he is kind of a jack of all trades, and there isn't a single thing that I think he couldn't do if he wanted to! He is my sanity, the first person I call, and the person who pushes me the hardest. 

Then there is me....originally from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, prairie girl at heart though I cannot stand the cold! I always thought that I was going to own my own restaurant or bakery or something like that; I guess there is still time! I moved to Vancouver in 2006 to attend make up school at Blanche Macdonald, I completed my Freelance Course in 2007 and began my mission to "make it" in the make up industry. Well I dabbled in almost every area of Make up and had small successes in each area but realized this wasn't for me, and walked away from makeup for good in 2010. I spent the last few years working in retail management, with about a year in the jewellery sales industry.

 I am currently pregnant with our second child due November 16 this year, my first born will start Kindergarten in September.  This is an amazing place right now, while there are so many unknowns, I feel such small comfort, that I am able to take this time off to be with my daughter and ensure the growth of our new baby and then have time off with our new baby while Ava is beginning the most amazing chapter of her life. My "career" is up in the air, but I have time to figure it out! I feel very lucky!

My world revolves around these people and I wouldn't change it for one second! I can't wait for you to fall in love with them as much as I have! This is an old photo but still one of my favorites! We are the Shearer family! Nice to meet you!