Parents Can Be Assholes Too!

Week two of not being in school and my energy levels just aren't what they used to be, so we've been trying to keep busy with practicing our reading and writing.  Thankfully for the most part on days when I just can't keep up and she's starting to turn into a little asshole.. I kick her outside to play with the neighbor kids.  We are so very lucky there are so many, but along with not having enough mental/physical stimulation, comes boredom and this can cause a child to start to act up right and  mine isn't the only one that can turn into little assholes sometimes. We have these sweet little beings that have the occasional tendency to turn into little assholes, we have found their parents can be assholes too!

Two years ago in October, we moved to the cutest little house on the best little street! I knew when we drove up to the house and saw the coloring on the walls of the house beside us that this was going to be a place that we could call a home! I fell in love with the neighborhood just as much as I have fallen in love with our home!  Anyone who has been to our many houses over the years, knows that this has been the first place we have REALLY called home!

Now we have experienced a moment that I kind of saw coming, but really hoped it never would, certain kids not being allowed to play with certain kids. Lately, Ava has been going through something and I'm not exactly sure what it is , if it's boredom, fear, or just her age, but she has been a little rough with the boys and not listening to her friends. 



Image Courtesy of  Scary Mommy

We've had moments where Ava comes running in the house in tears cause the boys have been practicing Karate on her or saying mean things.  We've had hand marks, bruises, cuts and many tears shed , however to my recollection, I don't recall my daughter ever leaving hand prints, but I have chalked this up to a "simple kids will be kids".  We have conversations frequently about kindness and being nice and I've tried to not be a helicopter mom, but I remember being the child that was picked on and having people not be nice to me and I never want my little girl to be that kind of a girl but I've also been trying to raise a little girl who will stand up for herself and others.

Apparently, according to two of the children yesterday, my daughter and one of her friends were told by one of the adults that they are not allowed to play with the boys anymore because she is "too mean".  At first, I tried to brush it off and justify why she would have a conversation like that with my daughter without speaking to me first.  Maybe the two girls heard her wrong, though one is older than Ava and has always been very honest so far!

As the afternoon progresses, I'm replaying all these different events in my head and trying to figure it out cause it's not that big of a deal right? I will see her outside, I'll talk with her and clarify what was said. I sit outside and wait... she doesn't come out.  The boys come out and I hear them saying to Ava, "My mom says we can't play with you anymore cause you're too mean" and so now my blood is boiling.  I approach these boys and I explained that it was fine and it was their mother's decision to make but they now need to respect their mom and do as they are told and leave her alone. She still doesn't come outside and I'm quite annoyed and hormonal at this point!

I figured rather than react, I would wait until I have calmed down and have a grown up discussion with her as I feel it was really unfair that she have that conversation with my child without having the decency to speak with me first.  Every other time there has been a problem, we are the first to go over and try to work the situation out and take Ava to apologize while their children are allowed to stay in the house and not "face the music".  I spent a good hour later that afternoon consoling my daughter as she was in tears and so upset that she wasn't allowed to play and that she was called "too mean".  I know my daughter is not innocent in all of this, but I strongly believe that if I have a problem I will discuss it with the other mom directly rather than the children.

So now I ask Moms...how do you deal with this?  What do I do? Do I have the right to be upset that she had that conversation with my daughter without speaking to me first?  Do I have a right to be peeved that she used the words "too mean" when referring to my daughter without reflecting on how her children have behaved towards my daughter? I have a few choice words that I'd like to use and discuss about their children's behavior, but it's not my place and my main concern is to teach my daughter to be a kind, respectful and a good friend to others.

 I've never had been in this situation and with so many seasoned mommies, who better to help guide and support?!