When Ava was born, I had all these ideas of how I wanted it to be, based on some suggestions I got from other moms, parenting books, and Mom blogs. One of the most common complaints I heard about was sleep issues; kids refusing to sleep in their own rooms, not being able to fall asleep without a lot of coaxing from the parents, sleep routines, bassinet to crib to toddler bed or just general concerns. For those reasons, Ava never slept in our room or in our bed. From the first night the our tiny little baby was alone in her room, in a crib, honestly.. our newborn baby slept alone in a big crib her 1st night at home.
I feel like I should probably knock on wood here, as with this child, we don't have enough room in our house for this new babe to have her own room so she will be bunking with us until the time is right to move her into sharing a room with Miss Ava. Thankfully, we have a walk in closet that with some strategic planning, I think we might be able to create a little space for baby that will give the illusion of having her own room. Cross your fingers it works! With the power of Pinterest behind me.. I think we can do it!
I am a firm believer that her beginning this way, was the first step in creating the independence Miss Ava exudes today! From day one we started her on a schedule, but it was a flexible schedule, as we never wanted to have her dictate how our day went, that being said, there were some days when I just couldn't bring myself to do the things I needed to do because Ava had her own mind set! I really wanted to make sure that I didn't miss out on the chance at anything because the baby needed a nap or it was feeding time. Saying it now, it sounds a bit selfish, but I look back at all the ways my life has changed since having Ava and I'm ok with a few of the selfish decisions I made.
At times, I feel like one of those moms that talk about how easy going their baby is and how life hasn't changed that much. But it did and ALOT, Miss Ava wasn't always easy going! We had our moments her and I but I honestly think that because of some of the choices that we made, we have all fit together wonderfully. She came into our lives and I kind of took that "they smell fear" approach and attempted to make sure that no matter what was going on, to her it looked like I knew exactly what I was doing every single moment. Truth is...I didn't!
In looking back at all these things that I did with Ava and by asking myself, "Would I repeat them with baby no.2?" It has also got me questioning the type of mother I am. Maybe my perception of "loving my child" is slightly off, because I see so many of these moms taking the attachment parenting style and I have never been that mom.
Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter with all my heart and I am so thankful for everything she is and all that I can imagine she will accomplish. She is absolutely fearless, determined, strong willed, stubborn and wayyyy to intelligent for her own good!
I think that I have always looked at her independence as her maybe, having grown up too fast or as I didn't cuddle her enough and so she doesn't haven't that "bond" with me. But the truth is, in all my self reflection over the past few months. Her independence is a good thing! She is confident in herself, and our relationship enough to be able to walk away and have very little fear with what the outcome might be! She is able to walk into a situation, head up and be present in that moment enough to feel safe and she is 5 years old! Have I mentioned... she is wayyy to smart for her own good.
So ask me now.... would I change anything? No! Did I love her enough? Absolutely! There are always small tweaks to the system as each child is different but I'm happy! Maybe I won't let this child play video games as early as we let Ava! Who knows! What would you change?
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| Copyright Bruce Shearer 2014 |
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