Mommy melt down... Crying at the PNE

Once upon a time ago, I worked at Playland for an Airbrush Tattoo company doing airbrush tattoo's, day in and day out, I'd see parents bring their children and then watch the meltdowns happen around every corner of Playland! I never wanted to be that parent! This year that meltdown was not my child but was in fact myself. I had a mommy meltdown at the PNE!

The melt downs mentioned above, were always from children that were  visually and physically over-stimulated and on a sugar rush! For that reason, I managed to shield my daughter from any type of "fair" until now, other than small mall parking lot ones. This year, I just couldn't hide it any longer, with neighbourhood friends talking about it etc. I knew it was time to let go just a little bit!

Seeing as we live just a few blocks from the PNE Fair Grounds, we decided to walk down for Free Day! We had a fun few hours with my husband and the next door neighbours but then we got left just the two girls to wander the grounds. Once the sun came out and we started to overheat, we decided to head home for a few hours and come back at night with husband for some night riding!


I still laugh when I see this face!

 So we head back to PNE around 8:30 pm, walk around a little and we approach this one ride! Now let me offer some background here, I am the worlds biggest chicken when it comes to rides! I can't stand them, I get nauseous on the swings. I got freaked out on the Ferris Wheel with my 5 year old cause it was rocking too much!  Anyway, we approach this ride and I see my beautiful little girl's big green eyes open wide and sparkle with excitement. My stomach TURNS! "Can I please?"

My pulse begins to race and I can't imagine squashing her excitement! Oh Zero Gravity...you might just win this one! So we go to see if she is tall enough... she is! DAMN IT! She runs up and onto the ride! My pulse is racing faster! She gets on, finds her place on the wall, they strap her in! Seriously? My 5 year old is going to do this! They let Bruce onto the ride to snap a quick photo, he comes off the door closes. I'm in complete shock that she is doing this, he is letting her do this and what happens if she's on the ride and gets scared. I was not prepared for this AT ALL!

The door closes, the ride starts! Now my 5 year old is strapped to a wall, while it spins at an insanely fast rate, and then turns on its side and continues spinning. For this very quick moment, I see her face and her sweet little body is pressed against this wall and she looks terrified. I begin to freak out! Bruce is trying to tell me she's laughing but I saw her face, she was scared! I'm panicking! How the hell do I get my baby off this ride? I'm now crying, a lot and I cannot look at my husband!

The ride ends and I'm covered in tears and can barely breathe. The door opens, she comes stumbling off the ride and she looks at us. I'm still crying! " THAT WAS AWESOME!" and she runs back on to the damn ride!

Are you freaking kidding me child?? She wasn't scared for a damn minute! I can now see my future flash before my eyes and I can see this girl causing me so much grey hair! She is fearless and as my husband says," She has bigger balls than her mama!" followed by, "What mom cries at the Fair?"

Now I can accept my fear for rides, it's fairly common! But now I need your help, the tears, are those pregnant hormones or is this my life now? Do I cry every time my child hurts? What happened to me? I can't even begin to explain all the ways that I have felt myself change over the past few months. Are those pregnancy hormones or is this some type of side effect with getting myself ready to be the mother of two children?